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Disclaimer: I have never shared this - especially my weights - with anyone besides my husband. Sharing this is both terrifying and a massive relief.
I've never been a thin girl. Heck, coming from a Polish family, I was expected to spend my days either drinking vodka or eating Polish sausage (you think I'm joking). There was no talk of exercise growing up. I swam for several years and really enjoyed it. I even got fairly good at it. But I never followed through with it.
Comments from my youth such as "no man will ever love you because of your weight" and "you'll cry over what you've done to yourself" still run through my head to this day. There's definitely some emotional damage done there.
In June 2004, I married my husband weighing 227 pounds (I borrowed my wedding dress from Shamu's bride). I got comfortable and got up to 248. After three years of trying to get pregnant (another weight-affected struggle), I delivered my son in July of 2007 weighing 268 pounds. Enough was enough. With my mother-in-law's voice in the back of my head telling me I'll never lose the weight, I'll be fat forever, I set my goal - I was going to lose 100 pounds by my son's first birthday.
By six weeks post-partum, I had lost all 41pounds I gained during pregnancy and was back down to 227. Right before my son turned seven weeks old, I joined StrollerFit and the pounds started to come off. I started running with the help of the Couch to 5K program in February 2008. I hated running but there's no such thing as a fat runner, right? I was sticking with it.
July 2008, my son turned one and I had lost 99.8 pounds. Good enough. Mission accomplished. I weighed 169.2. I got comfortable. I got up to 185. I got pregnant again when my son was 18 months old and come October 2009, I have a beautiful daughter and 36 pounds to lose (I got up to 221). Here we go again!
After my six week appointment, I started working out at home. I got a BodyBugg for Christmas from my husband which has been a huge help (if you don't know what that is, check it out! You GOT to have one!). I started doing the Couch to 10K program and we joined the local YMCA.
So where am I today? I'm edging back to that 100 pounds lost. I'm at 179 pounds (11 more to go!). I love my Power Pump class, I can run (Like it! Love it! Gotta have it!) 6.5 miles without cringing at the thought and I run my first 10K this Saturday. When I tell my son that momma's going to run, he brings me my shoes and takes my hand and walks me to the treadmill.
Where am I going? The sky is the limit! I have a lot to learn when it comes to self-love and self-acceptance. I may have lost a lot of weight but 90% of the time, I still see the fat me when I look at the mirror. I've set a goal weight of 155 pounds (I'm 5'8" for the record). I also plan to run the Disney Princess Half Marathon in February 2011. I have every intention of teaching my babies how to be healthy and enjoy being active and how to love and respect themselves, something I was never taught growing up.
Next time: The First Mile
